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I had clear plans for the future

Updated: Mar 20, 2022

I had clear plans for the future, and I was systematically moving towards their implementation.

But the further reality turned out to be different: we managed to move here just a few hours before the war started, and we did not see the point of going back – now behind us, we have nothing of our own there.

So, here we have the resettlement of displaced people, distribution of humanitarian aid and duty in a bomb shelter…

Especially deep emotions are left by acquaintances with people who, after bombing and rocket attacks, are afraid of the sound of an electric kettle and leave their rooms when someone starts the car at night. To be honest, I do not know how to help them…

By the way, we don’t feel like we are displaced persons here. We’re local. It’s something internal. This is our city.

It seems that this is how we are perceived by others…

I watch us and the others… Now our women with small children choose: Go to Poland or stay. Now, even children weave camouflage nets. My eldest son, who is not yet 5 years old, has well studied the entire algorithm of actions in case of air raid sirens. He also occasionally takes a wooden submachine gun and says, “I go for moskals (a historical designation used for the residents of the Grand Duchy of Moscow from the 12th to the 15th centuries, also used to define Russians who support the Putin’s regime, TN)”.

In fact, I have never seen such unity and commitment to joint achievements anywhere else. Here, people don’t think about prospects, scenarios, positive and negative layouts – they just do what should be done. What they can do. What they know how to do. In their eyes is a drive that excites and inspires, helps to move forward, to act. It’s not euphoria, it’s something deeper.

Of course, no one can say for sure what will happen next. Sometimes I have a strong feeling that everything I know and love may disappear within the next few minutes. On the other hand, it’s true… Sometimes I catch myself saying goodbye in absentia… But there is also a downside. The ability to worry less about material things is formed.

I don’t yet understand exactly how this war will ultimately change me, but I can see that the world around me is undergoing seemingly irreversible transformations. Basic, essential things change. We all get used to being different.

March 7, 7:31am

Ukrainian Text by Serhii Bryhar. Translated into English by Ukrainianvancouver team – Mar 07, 2022

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